W-R-I-T-E cheerleaders

So today I felt productive. I wrote on my Sasha in Seattle blog, and took care of a *ton* of things around the house. Okay, really, more like 50 pounds of things around the house, I tend toward exaggeration. But really, it felt fantastic to have time to write. Which is probably why I'm doing it again, seated across the ping-pong table from a wonderful man engaged in his own creative pursuit (which is awesome... I can't wait until he's done so that I can show off his creativity).

Maybe I should let you know... I applied for a part-time writing job the other day. I'm nervous, because I feel that there's likely a vast many amount of writers who have more experience, more pizazz, more whatever than I do. "Oh Sasha, be positive" I hear Camille saying to the computer, loyal reader and friend that she is. I know, I know. Let me remind you of the heading of this personal blog-world. Sometimes, I'm not. Ask me again in ten minutes if I'm feeling optimistic, and you'll have the answer you're used to hearing.

Perhaps the case of nerves indicate that I want this position much more than I was initially willing to admit to myself. When I started my current job, I knew that I wanted to transition into something more creative. Given the size of the company, I thought that opportunity would be fairly quick in coming, but of course... these things take time. I imagine I've withheld from applying for better-fitting jobs in the past due to fears of failure. What happens if I do this, this thing I really want, and I fail?

It's interesting to be at a point in my life where I'm feeling brave enough to take that chance. Life is full of risks; there's chances of failure around every corner. But when I'm pursuing something that feels right in both heart and mind, something where my heart races even though my breathing is even, there's an excitement to that risk. Because I know that in everything I've attempted and accomplished, that possibility of failure was there too. If I hadn't taken the shot, there was no way it would ever go in.

Besides, there's something positive to come of every experience. Even those with less than satisfactory outcomes (ahem, exes, business plans, and a few other grand ideas that didn't successfully come to pass) still taught me something that I needed to know to proceed. I think it can be hard to fully extract the lesson from everything, sometimes it takes me years to have the perspective I need to best understand why something needed to happen... but, with time speeding up these days, at least it feels like I'm getting it quicker!

Anyway. Writing = Good. Food (oohhh home cooking) = Even better right now.

Love to my peep(s)!

Oh, Hi!

There are numerous changes since my last post!

• Met a man, fell in love.
• Moved to Seattle.
• Spent the summer trying to stay cool and sane.
• Realized my savings were rapidly dwindling, found job.
• Took class in editing, have no income yet as a result of that investment.

So there you have it! No time for blog-posting, and hopefully you won't hold it against me. Oh wait, except I did find time to start another blog and occasionally post. What's that address, you ask? sashainseattle.wordpress.com

I anticipate alternating my sporadic postings between these two blogs. Until I figure out which one I like better, or maybe decide that each has their own unique flavor. SashainSeattle is somewhat chronicling my life in Seattle, though that's between apologies for not posting in awhile, and promises to improve. Let's face it... I don't write as much as I want to. I think the only person who realizes and is disappointed (maybe) is Camille.

But here? Why, maybe I should just be silly! I've been having all these ideas of fun things, and this could perhaps be a source of ideas for those willing to take it further! Except I just launched one of those ideas... This kinda looks like a face is where I'll be uploading photos of things that, well, kinda look like a face. Occasionally they'll probably kinda look like something besides a face, but who knows. I sure don't. Anyway! That blog accepts submissions, so please, be awesome, and keep your eyes peeled for things that kinda look like a face. That's one way to make use of your cell phone camera that isn't dirty.

Oh, oh, oh!! But you should also check out the Huffington Post! Bellingham is the best place to eat local in my mind, and so I shared it... and it is most awesome!!! Now you know my HuffPost name, but that's cool. It's not like I post flaming comments or anything to be ashamed of.

Okay. I love you, tons really! But I need to go to the grocery store before I go to work. Loves!

The bees knees and ladies

Ahhh. Today, I had the joys of Katie's company not once, not twice, but three times. And it was fabulous.

We started off this morning walking around her yard and taking measurements and notes to plan a garden. Katie's been wanting a garden for some time, and, well, I've got the time to help make it happen!

Later, I picked her up and we took Shyann (my pooch-sister) to Padden to run the trails with her boyfriend and the students he coaches in long-distance running. It was cold, there was snow still very much on the ground through the horse trails, but as we emerged from the woods and the hills, the sun felt so refreshing. It was a great run, and I'm looking forward to joining up with them more in the coming weeks as a running buddy.

And, of course, it was Wednesday, so our standing ladies night date was in place. We missed Camille tonight (I miss you tons dearie! We need some quality time soon, if you happen to be reading this...). And MAN! It was an intense disc that we were watching! What I love the most about these ladies nights, is that we're really low-key... we get together with some wine and appetizers and watch discs of TV shows that we never watched in high school... yet that we all discover we enjoy. We debate the characters and the situations they find themselves in at length after the disc ends... and it gives us an opportunity to explore our lives and what choices we would make if we were in the same situation.

I always feel enlightened after these evenings. It recharges my batteries. Nonetheless, I'm not up for two late nights in a row... so adios amigos. Hasta manana.

The iron is hot. The induction stove? It's not, and it's fabulous.

Dear friends,

Ah, I've been struck by inspiration! Suddenly, I can foresee away that I can work and still be happy! I just come up with my own business, you see, and do what I want to do in order to work as much or as little as I'd like at any given time! My goodness!

Really, I don't know why that whole concept hasn't struck me much harder, much earlier. I've always understood it, but perhaps I was always too busy trying to figure out what I'd like to do, instead of just realizing what I wouldn't mind doing and making that happen. So... It fell into place for me... My expenses are beautifully low, and in order to not deplete that beautiful ace in the hole called savings, I really only need to work about 10 hours a week. What would I not mind doing for 10 hours each week? Cooking and cleaning. No joke! (Mom and Dad, I can hear your guffaws of laughter. I assure you I'm as serious as I ever am!)

Cause here's the thing! I really enjoy cooking and cleaning when that is what I'm actually doing. And it's really nice to create a more positive living envrionment for people. Heck, I used to dress up and treat myself to clean my old studio in Ballard. I'd put on good CDs, and I'd get lost in my imagination while reliving the old Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle books. Here's the thing... when my imagination has the opportunity to wander, it's like being on the Olympic Peninsula. All these ideas spring up very lush and healthy, and the eco-system of my mind thrives!

One of the joys of my unemployment (which I double-speak as "purposefully available scheduling for the benefit of more social time with people I love"), is that I get to, well, spend more time with people I love! Slowly I am struck with how much easier it is to nurture my friendships. And in doing so, I am also balancing the time that I like to have just for me (reading, writing, recreating). Shoot, I'm probably radiating something akin to smug, but I assure you that's not the case!

Sometimes it's just really easy to think that I should really have things in my life "more in place" if that makes sense. Honestly, it doesn't make sense to me. What is so wrong with the fact that I want to create a life in which I'm a truly happy being? Nothing! Nothing is wrong with that! But it is important to me to feel that I'm getting by on terms that are acceptable to me.

Ai yi yi. It's almost two in the morning and I'm absolutely wide awake. It could be because the universe is filled with an inexplicable energy right now... or it could be the 32 ounces of coffee I had after noon today. I'm thinking it's the latter, but there's a definite quality that lends itself to the former and my mood this fine evening (morning?).

This afternoon and evening, I hung out with Liz (Hi Liz!) and her husband and mom, and our mutual best friend Katie. While we were enjoying our dinner, I'd mentioned that I would be writing more with my new freedom. After we knocked down some pins in alleys, we were talking about the Spring Bowling League they were advertising, and how many times one would have to bowl to make it worth it each week (the answer: five games),
and I said,
"Oo, maybe I could do that..."
Liz's mom: "But what about writing?"
Me, sheepishly**: "Okay, I'll still be writing. I'm [getting closer to] writing every day."

So, here's part of the first steps. Taking advantage of the desire to write when I have time to do so. It may be at odd hours... but what better thing to do when I find I can't sleep? Wait, should I be watching TV right now? Cause I'm sure I could find something lovely and soporific on TV. And miss out on the joyous release that comes from expression, miss out on adoring Pandora, miss out on delighting in catching up on Liz's blog (classichousewife.blogspot.com).

I didn't realize how many idea eggs had been laid... but they're all starting to hatch:


So, thoughts:
Business idea - Begin cleaning and cooking, start with an introductory rate as I gain more experience (and figure out if I really want to do that a few hours each week). Benefit of this is that I'll improve at doing these things, which helps my life too!
Fun idea - Bowling league. Seriously. You wanna bowl? Shout out! Know a business that would sponsor a league? I especially urge you to let me know.
General ideas to accomplish writing goals - Know those small little flippy notebooks that are good for shopping lists and jotting notes to one's self? Um, so I have maybe five of those. I need to start using them. And also writing when inspiration strikes.

Okeydoke. Methinks it's bedtime. Finally.


**I instantly made a mental note to ensure that this becomes true with more visible results than the statement "I'm working on setting up my office" yielded a couple of weeks ago. When I can make it in the door and be set up comfortably, you'll be the first to know.

Ahhh, finally!

Dear friends!

I am overjoyed to announce that this dream is far more closer to reality than at any point over the past year! I am gainfully unemployed, and the winds are beginning to blow the right way for me to head out on the road trip. Well, almost... I have some commitments that will keep me mostly in town for the next few months (volunteering, and the wedding of one of my best friends), but then - FINALLY!!!!- I should be able to get going!

As I don't write nearly as often as I once hoped, this blog looks a lot like my journal. ("Dear journal, so much has happened in the past few months since I wrote! Yet I have no time to sit and write, so I'll fill you in later." And then more time passes.) I was struggling a lot in a job I believed in, but there was too much going on in my personal life for me to be as focused and dedicated as I would have liked to be. When my grandpa died three weeks ago, I felt as though everything came to a head. My mind and my heart were with my family. When I would think about myself, my thoughts would be toward the life I wanted to be having... a life with adventure and beauty. A life exploring the wonders of life, love, and the world we live in.

And so it hit me that rather than continue to feel like I was running into this brick wall again and again, I should be making an effort to get over the wall, to walk around it, to knock it down. That the way to do so would be to dedicate a great deal of my time getting my life in order; getting my bus in good condition, and getting myself stronger in mind, body, and spirit to embark on my journey.

I can not express how free I am feeling! At any given moment, I pause, and breathe deep, and feel... like I am soaring. I know that to some what I am doing seems impractical. "Are you completely oblivious of today's economy?" they ask. "How are you going to make a living?" And I don't know what to say to explain that I'd rather be living than making a living. That I have faith in my resourcefulness to get by as a productive member of society in my own right. That many of the expectations people set for themselves serve to imprison them.

Back before our society became focused on keeping up with the Joneses, our work was spent in the fields, growing crops to provide food for our families. Working with the Earth to live, instead of working to acquire things that work against it. And please don't feel that I'm saying there's anything wrong with the jobs that do not work directly toward providing life's necessities (food, water, shelter, love), but there is something wrong with feeling miserable and disheartened a vast majority of the time.

Anyway. So, yeah, musings. I've got to dash - I'd like to attend a meeting on the development of the old GP site.

Will write more soon, I hope/promise,
Love and peace,
Sasha